the world falls down

I have been going thru so much the past few weeks. its been nothing but horrible bad things. I've kind of fallen into a very dark, black place. A place of pain and anguish off terror and hopelessness. My parents lost their house to a tornado. And that's what started it all. Its just been complete fear since then. I want to throw myself into work and never see the light of day but they won't let me. I just want to vomit. And I keep setting myself up for it. All my electronics have given up too. And apple fried my mac and won't do anything to rectify it. I have thought about suicide but its not something I can bring myself to do I feel its the easy way out and I don't like making things easy on myself. I want everything to turn out okey and I'm just scared. Of everything. I don't know what to do anymore. I need to set things up quickly.